Isolation

There are many struggles that are faced throughout life.  How you rebound from them is characteristic of one's strength and resilience.  Growing up without a mother directly in my life was challenging.  Starting in elementary school, it never dawned on me that having a mother in my life would make a difference, it did.  By the time I was in middle school it seemed that everyone knew that my mom was struggling with an addiction.  I  was taunted and teased.  Feeling hopeless and helpless, I did not want to go to school.  I made many excuses to come home early or not to go.  I felt that my mother and father did not love nor want me.  By this time, I was living with an aunt and her three children.  It was hard because I never felt like I belonged but I had no where else to go.  Attempts to contact my father were unsuccessful.  I started to stay inside and not talk to anyone.  Holding all my emotions inside, I became depressed and told my aunt that I felt alone. Helpless and isolated, I had to figure out a way to press on. Finding the courage to face fellow classmates and persevere was my biggest challenge.  I decided to try and beat the odds.  I was told by family members and classmates that I would end up like my mother, this was not something I wanted.  I started to put my time into my studies to become a better me. I graduated at the top of my high school class.  By this time, my mother was living a clean and healthy lifestyle.  She was married to a wonderful man and had a successful job.  I came to the realization that no one is perfect and I need to forgive in order to heal.  I confronted her and my father about my feelings and I forgave both of them.  I proved others wrong.  However, I did not seek counseling until I was an adult because it was a necessary step before I started a family.  Isolation held me back temporarily but determination helped my get through it.